Thank god for organics!
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Determined to bite this ear off!
Thank god for organics!
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Before I was a Mom...
Mother's day was this weekend past. Last week I received a poem via email entitled "Before I was a mom" This tribute to Moms and babies everywhere has been on my brain and has had me thinking about just how much becoming a Mom has changed Michael and I. With each day that has passed since last Sunday I've thought of yet another thing that changed me/us. I can happily and honestly say that all of these "things" are changes that I would not give up for the world if it meant that my beautiful little girls would be anywhere but here, with me turning me grey.
For each passing day enriches me just a little more making me grow to appreciate the small things because the little things ARE in fact the big things and in time those "little things" slip away too.
My girls are growing more rapidly every day. I am completely amazed with just how quickly they do grow. Carpe Diem! il ya juste un peu de temps. (Seize the day! There is just a little time)
Here is my version of "Before I was a Mom"
There was a time where I was able to drop everything and run. I could meet a friend, go to a bar, go shopping alone... Now that I am Mom there are times where I do go shopping alone, rare times- but I find myself hurrying to get home or buying things for the children that I needed a small break from.
Before I was a Mom I probably couldn't name children's movies playing in the theater. Now I know start dates and jingles months before the big screen debut. The same goes for the latest toy, children's book or video game.
There was a time when I loved to sleep in. Now when I sleep in I wake up panic stricken because it is quiet and I'm scared of what I may find written on the walls, spilled on the carpet, soapy, wet. Yet when I find they're still sleeping I have to stop and watch for breath. Before I was a mom...
There was a time when I loved to watch the news. I needed to know what was going on in the world around me because it made me feel connected. No one ever told me that once I had a child watching the news would take on a whole new meaning and that I could no longer watch without sheer horror. What kind of world did I choose to bring children into? Before I was a mom I could watch missing children stories and be virtually unaffected- now they make me cry. I can't turn the channel because it is like seeing a train wreck and praying there are survivors. Your breath stops, your heart beats faster, you don't blink- you just pray.
There was a time when I could listen to any song I wanted, watch any television program... Now I find myself cringing at daytime TV when I forget to turn off the television. and only listening to Radio Disney because the music is edited for content. When you have a three year old sponge you do these things to save embarrassment because they just don't know that the catchy tune they heard this morning is laden with bad words.
Before I was a mom I didn't know what it was like to watch a baby learn to walk and hurt for them every single time they fell.
Before I was a mom I didn't read labels for nutritional content, check which country my produce came from or pay attention to the consumer product safety commissions latest set of recalls.
Before I was a mom I planned weekends around friends and social events not activities, nap times or meals.
Before I was a mom I had no idea how wonderful being a parent would be. I never knew you could love something/someone as much as you can love a bald, drooling, poop machine. I never knew a person could steal my heart before I officially met them. Before I was a mom I never understood the hell a woman goes through to have a child. I knew nothing of the heartache one can endure to be called "Mommy"
Before I was a mom I lived for My husband and myself. Once I became Mom I found a new love for my husband. A love I did not know came with being a parent. No one tells you beforehand that when you see the love of your life hold your baby for the first time that it's like falling in love all over again. No one tells you that your world really does begin all over again. Husband and Wife become Mommy and Daddy and it is a whole new world; a world even better than it once was and forever changed.
No one ever told us we would sit at home after our children were in bed and wonder what life was like before there were littles running around. No one told us that Friday nights at the bar would be replaced with take out and a good movie and that this was something we would look forward to. No one ever told us that we would enjoy a quiet night at home so much.
I can remember someone once telling us that there were at the least- three years of diaper changes ahead. I can remember cringing at the thought, but what I was not prepared for was the day I realized that diapers weren't needed anymore. A bittersweet day because this meant our baby was growing one day closer to no longer needing me.
Before I was a mom I did not know what it was like to have my heart living outside of me. I didn't know what it was like have pieces of me out in the world, how amazing it is to study small features and compare who those features resemble.
I can't imagine what life would be like without My Michelle and Sophia. Life is better because of these beautiful little girls, my world could crumble at my feet and so long as I have the Three loves of my life It's a good day.
Before I was a Mom...
For each passing day enriches me just a little more making me grow to appreciate the small things because the little things ARE in fact the big things and in time those "little things" slip away too.
My girls are growing more rapidly every day. I am completely amazed with just how quickly they do grow. Carpe Diem! il ya juste un peu de temps. (Seize the day! There is just a little time)
Here is my version of "Before I was a Mom"
There was a time where I was able to drop everything and run. I could meet a friend, go to a bar, go shopping alone... Now that I am Mom there are times where I do go shopping alone, rare times- but I find myself hurrying to get home or buying things for the children that I needed a small break from.
Before I was a Mom I probably couldn't name children's movies playing in the theater. Now I know start dates and jingles months before the big screen debut. The same goes for the latest toy, children's book or video game.
There was a time when I loved to sleep in. Now when I sleep in I wake up panic stricken because it is quiet and I'm scared of what I may find written on the walls, spilled on the carpet, soapy, wet. Yet when I find they're still sleeping I have to stop and watch for breath. Before I was a mom...
There was a time when I loved to watch the news. I needed to know what was going on in the world around me because it made me feel connected. No one ever told me that once I had a child watching the news would take on a whole new meaning and that I could no longer watch without sheer horror. What kind of world did I choose to bring children into? Before I was a mom I could watch missing children stories and be virtually unaffected- now they make me cry. I can't turn the channel because it is like seeing a train wreck and praying there are survivors. Your breath stops, your heart beats faster, you don't blink- you just pray.
There was a time when I could listen to any song I wanted, watch any television program... Now I find myself cringing at daytime TV when I forget to turn off the television. and only listening to Radio Disney because the music is edited for content. When you have a three year old sponge you do these things to save embarrassment because they just don't know that the catchy tune they heard this morning is laden with bad words.
Before I was a mom I didn't know what it was like to watch a baby learn to walk and hurt for them every single time they fell.
Before I was a mom I didn't read labels for nutritional content, check which country my produce came from or pay attention to the consumer product safety commissions latest set of recalls.
Before I was a mom I planned weekends around friends and social events not activities, nap times or meals.
Before I was a mom I had no idea how wonderful being a parent would be. I never knew you could love something/someone as much as you can love a bald, drooling, poop machine. I never knew a person could steal my heart before I officially met them. Before I was a mom I never understood the hell a woman goes through to have a child. I knew nothing of the heartache one can endure to be called "Mommy"
Before I was a mom I lived for My husband and myself. Once I became Mom I found a new love for my husband. A love I did not know came with being a parent. No one tells you beforehand that when you see the love of your life hold your baby for the first time that it's like falling in love all over again. No one tells you that your world really does begin all over again. Husband and Wife become Mommy and Daddy and it is a whole new world; a world even better than it once was and forever changed.
No one ever told us we would sit at home after our children were in bed and wonder what life was like before there were littles running around. No one told us that Friday nights at the bar would be replaced with take out and a good movie and that this was something we would look forward to. No one ever told us that we would enjoy a quiet night at home so much.
I can remember someone once telling us that there were at the least- three years of diaper changes ahead. I can remember cringing at the thought, but what I was not prepared for was the day I realized that diapers weren't needed anymore. A bittersweet day because this meant our baby was growing one day closer to no longer needing me.
Before I was a mom I did not know what it was like to have my heart living outside of me. I didn't know what it was like have pieces of me out in the world, how amazing it is to study small features and compare who those features resemble.
I can't imagine what life would be like without My Michelle and Sophia. Life is better because of these beautiful little girls, my world could crumble at my feet and so long as I have the Three loves of my life It's a good day.
Before I was a Mom...
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Bits and pieces...
It has been some time since my last post. I have been consumed lately with balancing life. Being Mama to two and nanny to two more is exhausting! I must say it is worth every second, as life right now is quite rewarding. I never thought I would love dandelions so much. There is something wonderful about weeds when they come from the fat fingers of a pre-schooler who knows not that they actually have the potential to kill all the beautiful flowers and that they in fact are nothing more than weeds. In the weeks past I have had hundreds handed to me yet somehow there are still hundreds more to be picked weekly. This is just one of those things I do not think I will ever understand.
The girls are growing like wildflowers do and make each day more interesting than the last. The eldest one is giving us a difficult time still with her eating habits, but I truly believe that with perseverance and continued persistence she will eventually just eat what is put in front of her. Hey a Mom can dream right?
The baby was christened on April 19th. We had beautiful weather and the day was just perfect!
She wore the same dress Michelle wore at hers which consists of the dress I wore when I was christened 27 years ago and bits and pieces from the wedding dresses of my mother, his Mother and his grand mother. The dress is just beautiful. (as usual you can click on the images to make them larger)
Last post Hubby and I were car shopping. We ended up purchasing a 2009 Chevy Traverse. It's black cherry in color with tan leather interior. I LOVE THIS CAR! So far my favorite feature is the power lift gate, with the 7 passenger seating a close second. It is really nice being able to put four kids in the car and have everyone be comfortable. It's also really nice to be able to fold the extra seats down when necessary for extra trunk space. There are however a lot of buttons on the center console, and I still have not figured out all of the features and I have had it a month already!
On Monday, April 13th Grand mom died. It had been about one year since she was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. This was a tough and seemingly fast moving illness for her we thought she was in remission, but it certainly did not last long. After a hard battle he finally called her home to peace.
I must say I was surprised by how hard her passing hit me. I truly did not expect her death to affect me the way it has. In hindsight I believe that the reason our relationship as of late was so strained had everything to do with events surrounding her only son, my uncle and her maternal instinct to protect her baby. I wish I had the ability and the want to understand this long before now so that I may apologise for words spoken that otherwise I may never have uttered. I once complained of her presence in my hospital room after the birth of my first born, because I was irritated with her protection of my Uncle and will to defend him regardless of how idiotic it seemed. Not until Sophia arrived did I realize how much I actually wanted her there- How much it meant to me that she made the trip to see her newest great-grandchild regardless of the fact that I had not been to see her or made any effort to include her in my life because I was angry.
Seeing her in her last few weeks with my daughters was one of the hardest things I have witnessed. Harder for me than seeing her lifeless, waiting to be returned to the earth.
Seeing her interact with the baby on good Friday, the last time I heard her say "I love you" and watching her stare at my little girls still haunts me. Watching her kiss the baby's cheeks and stare at her face, watching her hug Michelle, tell her she was "full of soup" and remind her to be a good girl was gut wrenching. I never expected goodbye to be so hard. I never thought goodbye would be so soon.
I never expected goodbye to hurt the way it still does.
Tomorrow is her 71st birthday. Even in the worst years we still always talked tomorrow, even if it was only for a short time. I won't be calling tomorrow for the first time and it hurts.
Gram, I hope you're enjoying your first few weeks wherever you are. I'm sure you're enjoying being with your mom, dad and granddaughter again. Pain free and peaceful yet probably still to this day raising some kind of hell...
Until next time...
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